Online
Dating Tips
People are turning to the web to date and meet someone because it works. You probably know someone who has met someone on the Internet. Online dating lets you screen potential mates before you meet them and facilitates connections that wouldn't occur otherwise. Finding the right person online has just as many pitfalls as more traditional forms of dating. Here are some tips and tricks you need to improve your chances. Dating online is as good a way as any to find a date and isn't much different than someone fixing you up with a person you don't know -- except that you are making the choices. Once you are ready, try our #1 Choice recomended services.
Finding
What You Want
You can meet people online sharing common interests. Search the web for local groups or chatrooms that focus on your hobby or interest and then go to the meetings.You might find a running club, an HTML users group, or some other club that suits your fancy. It's a great way to meet people you'll probably like because you already share an interest -- it's especially good if you're new in town.There is no guarantee people you meet this way are looking to date -- they may simply want to make friends or are just into their hobby. If you're looking for a little more certainty the people you meet want to date, go to the personals and dating sites.
Dating Sites
Browse ads for a while before you answer any. It helps you understand what kinds of people use the site -- and it will help you fine tune your radar to spot winners and losers. Don't be surprised to find that some people post more than one ad (or post every Monday) often with conflicting information.There are several types of online personal ad services. There are ads that anyone can browse and there are the ads which require you to be a member of the service. These usually require placing an ad as well, but are often free unless you use the more sophisticated search and matching services. If you are too shy to post your own ad, browse through the ads on some of the non-joining services and see if anyone strikes your fancy.
Member-only services usually offer better search options, such as age, religion, or zipcode. Running searches like this is a great way to meet the types of people you wish to target. For instance, if you prefer to meet people that are considerably older, younger, or of another race, you can initiate a search for a person that meets those qualifications. Many services even notify you by E-mail when someone who matches your qulaifications joins the service.
Before answering an ad, consider running it by your friends. It's a small world and they might have some information about a prospective date. You'd be surprised how often it happens.
Placing
Your Ad
While browsing ads can be effective, the best way to meet someone online is to join a service and put up your own ad:
If you'reshy, run an ad with a friend. Comparing notes, and sharing stories makes it lots more fun. It also provides a reality check when the same person answers both of your ads and gives contradictory information...
First, decide what to say. A personals ad is like a first date. You want to look and act like yourself, only better. Keep your ad light-hearted and relatively short. Try to say something unique that will set you apart from the sea of other singles out there. Everybody is looking for someone with whom "to take long walks on the beach" who is "as comfortable in jeans as they are in formal wear" who will "make them laugh." Say something different.
Show your sense of humor. Being able to laugh with that special someone is essential. Have a friend help you write your ad. They're usually better at unabashedly boasting about all your great qualities than you are. Better yet, have someone you used to date help you write it.
Even if you hope to meet the person for a serious lifelong relationship, you should only hint at this in your ad. Think of it from their perspective. It's a pretty big obligation your asking someone to fulfill before even meeting you. On the other hand, if you are not looking for any serious or long term relationship, you should be upfront about that in your ad.
Ad with photographs get read more often, so consider putting one up. Yes, part of the joy of e-mail is the anonymity, and not focusing on one's looks, but the fact is that still matters to most people and you are expecting to meet a person that eventually sees your ad. The services don't generally allow for that much to define yourself through prose. A picture is worth a thousand words.
Worried about friends seeing your picture? If you put your ad up in a membership service, anyone browsing your photo already had to join that service too, so there is no need to worry your friends will find out you have resorted to Internet dating. Try these #1 Choice recomended services.
Getting
What You Want
You've found a person you want to meet. They were interesting and funny in their ad and had something in common with you. They didn't have two word responses to stock questions and weren't "seeking a beautiful life together, puppies and moonlit beach walks."
Now what?
Write them a quick email. Just a couple of paragraphs.Women get lots of responses to ads and you want to pique their interest, but not seem too intense. Tell them why you wrote and ask some questions. Show off your strong points in this initial mail. Spellcheck! Do not be negative and don't write more than a couple of paragraphs. Also send a personal e-mail to every ad you respond to, nothing is more annoying than getting a form response to a personal ad.
If the person writes you back, exchange emails for awhile. No need to rush anything -- flirting is one of the best parts of online dating. it's an artful way of using words, and you get a chance to craft your response over time--perfect if you're shy. If after 3 or 4 emails the person still seems interesting set up a time to talk on the phone.
After writing to someone and talking on the phone, try to meet relatively quickly. Email and the telephone create a false familiarity. If you aren't careful you can cross the line from potential lovers to friends without ever meeting. The longer you go imagining someone in your head, the more attractve and perfect they become. You don't want to be disappointed because the person you are interested in is not the model-gorgeous, brain surgeon millionaire you imagined them to be. On e-mail people can put their very best foot forward--it's not that they lie, or even exaggerate, it's simply called editing. They can show off their best face. Don't ever get too intense about someone before you meet them in person. While meeting online has a higher success rate than, blind dates -- you're still going to go through you share of frogs. Chemistry matters in relationships, and it doesn't translate well over e-mail or the phone. Once you meet each other, all the usual things like physical attraction, how your conversation flows, deciding if you can live with that Type A personality commenting on your messy car will apply. Keep an open mind, and don't assume you know everything about a person just from their email, otherwise you'll be in for a nasty shock when they are not the person you imagined them to be.
Once you meet up, you've left the world of online relationships and entered the normal dating mode. Good Luck!
and
remember, it never hurts to have that added bit of extra protection
